small things...updated with pictures
It has almost been a month since I was diagnosed with cancer. (granted the idea of having cancer was planted a week or so before it was finalized.) It has been a long month. I never truly understood the idea of 'one day at a time' until this whole charade began. I can't plan ahead for anything because I don't know what that day is going to bring. I never know if I am going to feel well enough to do anything. But this whole experience, so far, as forced me to slow down and realize the small things. Such as:
My Mom. She really has been there for every.single.step. She hasn't missed anything. She is on top of everything...my medication, eating, drinking, laundry, making sure I am comfortable, etc. I don't know what I would do without her, especially during chemo week. (which is why she can't leave during chemo week if Holly's baby finally arrives!)
My Dad. I have been been able to ask him for a blessing every time I needed one, even at 1 in the morning. He plays Wii with me, and he likes it! In fact, he just called me and told me that we needed to play tonight.
My Family. I feel like I have grown closer to all of my siblings. Kelly came out and stayed with me at the hospital and was with me for my 1st chemo treatment. Julianne came here for my 2nd treatment, and she shaved my head. Shaunee is flying out here next week for my 3rd treatment. Holly will hopefully be able to come for one of my treatments with her newborn baby. (By the way, I keep dreaming about, and I'm pretty sure I know what he is going to look like.) All of these treatments have/will allow me to have my own time with my sisters with no husbands or kids around (with the exception of Milo, of course). Its just us and I love it. I have never had my brother call me so many times (3x...thats a lot for him), nor stay on the phone for that long. I've never had my sisters text me so much to ask how I am doing that day. Each one of my sisters have done something for me in their own way, and I am very appreciative! Shaunee was there to hug me when we first got the news that I had a tumor in my chest, and she made me a beanie. Holly and I talk basically every day (because we both have something to complain about), and she gives me her "nurse" advice. Julianne emailed pretty much everyone our family knew to tell them what was going on and to ask for a special fast for me. Kelly was the first one to fly down here when we got the news that I had cancer. Amber bought me scarves and books. Carla (basically my 2nd mom) brought me home a cute wig from her trip, and she cut my other ones so they look better. These are just SOME of the things they've done.
My Friends. Its kinda funny to see what friends contact you and what friends don't. You think you have it all figured out who would be there for you during a time in need...and then it actually happens...and they aren't, they are MIA. I guess this kind of thing shows you who your real friends are. I've received so many phone calls, cards, emails, texts, comments on my blog/facebook, flowers, and packages than I know what to do with myself. I didn't know that many people cared.
I have felt very comforted and its because of the overwhelming love that I have felt. Thank you so much for anything that you have done for me. I promise, it hasn't gone unnoticed, and it is helping me deal with this cancer. Its amazing to see all these people pull together for me and help me battle this thing! I am learning to appreciate and see all the small and simple things that people do for me.
Now I have to get ready for the day. I am going to the post office to turn in my application for a passport! When this is over with, I want to flee the country and celebrate, and damn it, I will!!!!!
When I got the mail today I was surprised to see yet another package for me. This one was full of bandannas...thank you Sarah Jones!!!!!
I LOVE them, that was so nice of you, thank you sooooooo much!!!!
Since I had to get ready for the day to get my passport taken care of, I decided to take pictures with my wigs on. Here they are:
My long wig.
The one Carla brought home. The pic doesn't do it justice.
The original one.
The half wig that I wear with hats/beanies.
I look better as a brunette, don't you think?
My Mom. She really has been there for every.single.step. She hasn't missed anything. She is on top of everything...my medication, eating, drinking, laundry, making sure I am comfortable, etc. I don't know what I would do without her, especially during chemo week. (which is why she can't leave during chemo week if Holly's baby finally arrives!)
My Dad. I have been been able to ask him for a blessing every time I needed one, even at 1 in the morning. He plays Wii with me, and he likes it! In fact, he just called me and told me that we needed to play tonight.
My Family. I feel like I have grown closer to all of my siblings. Kelly came out and stayed with me at the hospital and was with me for my 1st chemo treatment. Julianne came here for my 2nd treatment, and she shaved my head. Shaunee is flying out here next week for my 3rd treatment. Holly will hopefully be able to come for one of my treatments with her newborn baby. (By the way, I keep dreaming about, and I'm pretty sure I know what he is going to look like.) All of these treatments have/will allow me to have my own time with my sisters with no husbands or kids around (with the exception of Milo, of course). Its just us and I love it. I have never had my brother call me so many times (3x...thats a lot for him), nor stay on the phone for that long. I've never had my sisters text me so much to ask how I am doing that day. Each one of my sisters have done something for me in their own way, and I am very appreciative! Shaunee was there to hug me when we first got the news that I had a tumor in my chest, and she made me a beanie. Holly and I talk basically every day (because we both have something to complain about), and she gives me her "nurse" advice. Julianne emailed pretty much everyone our family knew to tell them what was going on and to ask for a special fast for me. Kelly was the first one to fly down here when we got the news that I had cancer. Amber bought me scarves and books. Carla (basically my 2nd mom) brought me home a cute wig from her trip, and she cut my other ones so they look better. These are just SOME of the things they've done.
My Friends. Its kinda funny to see what friends contact you and what friends don't. You think you have it all figured out who would be there for you during a time in need...and then it actually happens...and they aren't, they are MIA. I guess this kind of thing shows you who your real friends are. I've received so many phone calls, cards, emails, texts, comments on my blog/facebook, flowers, and packages than I know what to do with myself. I didn't know that many people cared.
I have felt very comforted and its because of the overwhelming love that I have felt. Thank you so much for anything that you have done for me. I promise, it hasn't gone unnoticed, and it is helping me deal with this cancer. Its amazing to see all these people pull together for me and help me battle this thing! I am learning to appreciate and see all the small and simple things that people do for me.
Now I have to get ready for the day. I am going to the post office to turn in my application for a passport! When this is over with, I want to flee the country and celebrate, and damn it, I will!!!!!
When I got the mail today I was surprised to see yet another package for me. This one was full of bandannas...thank you Sarah Jones!!!!!
I LOVE them, that was so nice of you, thank you sooooooo much!!!!Since I had to get ready for the day to get my passport taken care of, I decided to take pictures with my wigs on. Here they are:
My long wig.
The one Carla brought home. The pic doesn't do it justice.
The original one.
The half wig that I wear with hats/beanies.
I look better as a brunette, don't you think?
Meppy said this @1:23 PM
13 Comments:
Hang in there Mary! We love you and keep you in our prayers daily. You are such a special young woman and are going through sooooo much! Keep up that happy, positive attitude!! When you are well I will show you Germany and Austria if you would like!!!
LOVE.
Aunt Lori
I love that you're journaling this. It has made me look at life differently too. I love your positivity and love to read about your love for your family. Thank you for letting us into this part of your life.
thanks for making me teary biatch!!
I love your wigs!! Very neat!! I am not sure how to write this but I found your blog at random and I just wanted to let you know I am thinking and praying for you.
Hi Mary,
What a knock-out wig - the one with the long hair.
We are looking forward to taking you along on our next trip to France and Germany and Salzburg and so on and so on, Wienerschnitzel, Gelato, and Schokolade. Hang in there!!!!!
Love,
Uncle Martin
Mary you look like a total babe with the long wig!
You are so beautiful, Mary! Your wigs look so great, and you really look awesome for what you're going through.
I nearly got teary when I read about my awesome Pitton cousins and all they're doing for you. You really have a terrific family ... they've always been my favorite cousins!
I laughed when I read that Uncle Jim likes playing Wii with you. That's so great! The Wii rocks!
This made me think of one time when we were in Utah with all of you. Your dad was in the elevator with my family, and he said, I think to Kevin, "Did you fart in the elevator? DID you fart in the elevator? Did you FART in the elevator?"
We laugh about this a lot! Good memory!
We love you! :)
You look so good in your wigs and you are smart to have your passport photo taken with a wig on. I didn't wear a wig for mine and BOY IS IT UGLY!! I look like a guy for sure and it's a little embarassing, but oh well.
Those bandannas are super cute! I will send you some (as well as some hats) as soon as I get a hold of your mailing address. Email it to me when you have a sec!
Keep your chin up and know that so many of us are pulling for you.
:) Charlene
Yeah, stick with brown hair. And can I flee the country with you? haha I'm sick of grad school, and it's only been a week. Take me with you!
How do you manage to look gorgeous even with cancer? My fave is the original one, but they're all cute. I can't wait to see you next week!
you look darling in them all, but i love the original one, too! how do you decide which to wear? depending on your mood? maybe i need a wig :) xoxo
Love em all! Sorry again that my boys tried to pull your wig off yesterday to see you bald! They thought they were so funny but I'm sure you didnt find it very funny. I will do a better job at explaining things to them- maybe I need to get them the kimmie doll! ?!
Mary, You don't know me but I knew your parents a long time ago! I am Richard Ellsworth's sister Marianne and when I was a newlywed my husband Dee and I lived in the same ward with Richard, Susan, and your family. I loved your dad's sense of humor and how happy your mother always was. I am sure they haven't changed. I'll always remember your mom and Susan buying roller skates and going around the block pushing strollers full of children for exercise! They were so fun together.
I found your blog through Brent's. I hope you don't mind. I just want you to know that so many people think of you and are praying for you often. You are indeed beautiful as your sister said but even more so on the inside! Stay strong and positive and we will all keep you on our hearts! Tell your mom I said Hi!
~Marianne Ellsworth Loose
Post a Comment
<< Home